勇气

我喜欢你。我依然没有勇气告诉你。昨天看不到你还以为你没来，我傻傻的在canteen等你。最后看到你了放心了。今天你比赛好想要去支持你但要工作。还是希望你能得奖。我知道你可以得奖的。对你满满的信心。

最经心情都不好，就是开心不起来。感觉到好累好绝望因为没有机会可以看到你了。我要去ferringhi grill 了。上班时间不一样，吃饭时间不一样。老天爷帮帮我。让他爱我好吗。我不想要错过。

很高兴今天你和我说话。当你问我喜欢你的时候我好想说我爱你。但我还是说朋友的喜欢。我真的真的想要和你在一起。这是我第一次一直在佛面前请求你爱我。我真的爱上你了。我可以牺牲我的假期来上班看你。我真的好希望你可以爱我。老天爷让他爱我吧！拜托！不想要有遗憾的离开这里。希望奇迹可以出现！

love

2nd day working in banquet kitchen. was extremely excited to come in here. thanks god everything went well and smooth. i got to see him. that's the only reason why i was excited to go banquet. he's working next to my station. whenever he pass by my heart skips a beat. wish he could talk to me. today he did ask me a question. that was how old am i. i answered' what do you think'. he replied'19'? i answered'20'. that's it. the end of the conversation. was hoping that god will let him love me. just that simple. i just want god to let him love me. im willing to sacrifice for him to stay here. god, pls help me to let him fall for me. i just wanttt him. not other guy. pls godd....    

不知道怎么了

原本很期待去pastry kitchen的没想到第一天就做得不开心。不知道什么原因。我只想快一点过这两个星期。原本以为在smc western kitchen 做会很难但我反而做得很开心。但是一直期待的pastry kitchen却让我好失望好不开心好像快一点过。神请你给我力量吧！让我能在pastry kitchen做得开心。拜托你！

不知怎么了我好像失恋。我对他心动了？不可能吧，就他一个微笑我就爱上他啦？看不到他的时候我会一直想着他。去做工没精神一看到他心情一瞬间高兴起来。不会是一见钟情吧？不可能吧。 每当看到他在做菜时都觉得他好厉害！可是好奇的事为什么他就只是在那里煮下东西就不见人影了。到底是在后面continue煮还是已经放工了还是去banquet kitchen了。每次经过banquet kitchen 都会看那窗口看你有在里面吗。虽然我知道是看不到但我还是会特别在意。我是觉得你一定有女朋友了，所以我才会一直告诉我自己不要再想你了。我的心就是那么难过。之前还在庙里求佛给我找个男朋友， 但没想到我会对你心动。真的觉得爱情说来就来说走就走。haih。。。。 爱一个人真的很累。哪怕就一个微笑就能打动我。真的觉得我很懦弱。

stress!

got accepted from rasa sayang hotel, penang. but now the thing is so stress. because rooms are hard to find. now i found one. even though its far from there but it leave me no choice. ive got to have a place to stay. if not i'll die. and pls god help me to get this place successfully. because its 2 weeks from now already. i'm running out of time! just let me get that room pls. ill take 1 1/2 hour to get there also its ok. plsssssss god.. pls hear my prayer. seriously desperate.

farewell

its been 3 months ++ since i last posted. 

i had a farewell dinner with my pastry classmates yesterday in one city along with Chef Khor and Chef Mary. yesterday was our last day of class and after we finished our C&G exam we had a dinner at 9pm. we had thai food. it was a bit expensive but its worthy it cause its delicious. everybody was attend the dinner accept Emily Teo. i think i would regret if i didn't attend yesterday. 

my alarm clock rang at 8.30 am this morning. i hit snooze for the first time and off it for the second time. i continue to sleep until 12.30 pm. woke up and the first thing came to my mind was i don't need to wake up for class anymore for the next one month. it was a relieve at first. but then this feeling come...sad. i didn't thought i would feel sad leaving my one year classmates. this is the first time having this feeling. even though last day of high school and foundation i didn't feel that sad. this time i really feel sad and reluctant to leave. maybe its because everyone come from different places and states. so its not possible to gather like this again. 

even though we always quarrel, fight, dislike each other everytime, but there are still best times. we go through hardship together, help each other together. but still everytime quarrel because we don't have team work especially kitchen cleaning. but i really enjoyed this one year. i make many friends, i met people, i get to know world class chefs. the chefs are really good and experienced.   

name of classmates:

1. Chia Chen Lyn (cheras).
2. Chiu Jia Ying (JB).
3. Tan Wei Yi (Klang).
4. Emily Teo Pei Wen (sarawak;sibu).
5. Myshia Chong Kah Uei 'ah sum' (seremban).
6. Leong Guang Sheng (raub).
7. Kim Kai Hang (banting).
8. Neo Sun Jie (banting).
9. Han Sun Tee (melacca).
10. Lo Man Seng (sabah;sandakan).
11. Desmond Goh (putra heights).
12. Andrea Lim ( subang jaya). 

name of pastry chefs:

1. Chern Chee Hong
2. Huey Zjen
3. Mary 
4. Khor Beng Gee
5. Lim Sil
6. Alice

i'll always remember you guys. i wish you all the best in the future and hope to see you in the future as a future chef that will took me by surprised. looking forward to it. good luck my friends.... bye!