falling in love

我想告诉你 我已经爱上你了。恭喜你， 你终于把我的心占据了。

和你在一起我很有安全感。

你一直出现在我的脑海里。

我无时无刻都会想到你，

特别是夜里。

没有你的讯息我很难过，失望。

我想要每天都看到你。

想要每天窝在你的怀里。

想为了你改变自己。

听到你不用去新加坡了我很开心。

但现在我不开心的是〉〉〉

1. 你不再这么甜蜜的和我讯息了。
2. 我们好像没话题聊了。
3. 就算有讯息也只是一般。
4. 听到你想放弃了。

喂！你怎么可以这样！让我爱上你了你却想要放弃了！我真的很难过。我真的被你打败了！我不知道要怎么办了。

每一次看到你有上线我都好期待好开心但有点烦恼，期待你会主动和我聊天。 开心你上线了。烦恼要找什么话题聊。可是最近都很失望，你不但没自动来找我聊天而且还完全是不联络的。我终于了解那时候我给你的忽冷忽热感觉了。真的很伤。对不起！所以有时候我不想上线因为我不想看到这样的情况发生。我当作你没上线好了。不想要和你擦肩而过。

想你了。:(  :(  :(  :(

i had a counted as serious talk by a Counselor which is the lover boy. after i have digest part of the advice, i only realize that actually im not matured at all. i thought i always think from 007 prospective BUT i realize it is not the way...

yes,
1. im gonna approach him like he said.
2. im gonna fake a courage.
3. im gonna make 007 believe me.
4. im gonna give him an image.

i feel that i never learn never understand the meaning of life.. i always thought that im already matured. BUT at the end im wrong. 我可以聪明点吗？！不要总是学不会好吗？！林珮珊！！！醒了咯。

is not easy to be a human being

i still don't know what to do.. how to comfort a broke up person. 

i feel pity for her. i don't know what to do to help her. but one thing im happy about is she still can pregnant. im here to wish her luck and to  ask for god's help to give he strength to overcome all these. please god give her strength.. she got nobody to turn to now.. and i don't know how to help her. i will appreciate if you answer my prayer. 

she shouldn't meet my father.. she should meet a better person.. my father is sucks honestly. he told me not to lie but he is the biggest liar ever on earth. never a person meet 007 is a good thing. as a child of his i don't feel love from him and he is too selfish. he don't let me out. he don't believe me. yeah i do lie. but have you ever thought why i'm lying? i lie because if i tell the truth you're gonna be mad at me. feeling so stress living in this roof. every time i go to bf house i don't feel like leaving. because i don't feel the stress and pressure. i envy my bf. he has a loving mother and sis. but i got no one. even though i have lyn and xian in my life but its something different. he's really a bad ass dad. yeah maybe im still young to think like this. maybe when i grew up i will understand. but now i don't get it okay! what effects a person the most is family or loves one. if you have a happy and warm family please appreciate that and congrats cause not everyone is so lucky. you can be the nicest person in the world if you have a loving family. but if you have a worst family you're gonna get crazy one day trust me.

for me family doesn't mean much in my life cause they ruin my life. yeah i might be a bad girl a bad daughter that don't appreciate what i got. i can say that i hate my family for this moment...    

omg!

omg! im just awake in the middle of the night because he doesn't chat with me.. i waited and waited. eventually i fall asleep. i was dreaming that he send me messages. so i woke up and check a few times my phone. unfortunately its not happening. im still waiting for him. am i really in love?! oh gosh. feeling kinda sad that he is going to Singapore for internship. at first i didn't think much about that and i didn't feel anything. but now its something in my heart that complicated this. i cant believe i got this sadness living and growing wildly in my heart. this is the first time i cant sleep because of someone. i still cant believe this is happening to me! Owh My Goshhhhh!!! im in love huh?!!!   

haze!

yep its been long time I didnt update my blog. im starting my patisserie course this Thursday. its a 1 year  and 4 months course. the last 4 months will be the internship.                the government had just done cloud seeding. now the haze is better and the temperature drop a lot. now is 25°c compare to 35°c . and the humidity increase tremenduosly.. now I only know raining can be so happy. I didnt really appreciate raining all this while. and now I really feel its good to rain too. I hope the haze will get better by tmr. cause I need to go college starting this Thursday! wish myself good luck. fighting Andrea lim you can do it! never ever ever ever give up! you are the best! have confident , courage , passion in persuing your dream as a future successful pastry chef. very good luck !!!   ;) 

shes leaving me! i cant get over it! she the only one that i cant hold on to but now shes gone. at the end im still alone. i really hope i can stay in the dark corner and forever just be there. my heart is pain. my tears are pouring. god help me! 

Just came back from hometown Gerik, Perak. we went back for early 'qing ming'. we started our journey on Saturday around 4 o'clock in the afternoon. it took us 4 to 4 1/2 hours to reach. On Sunday morning we have to go to the cemetery as early as 7.00 o'clock in the morning. when my alarm ring at 6.30am, i straightaway hit the stop button and continue to sleep until they finally woke up and alarm me up. i barely open my eyes and took a looked at the time. it's 6.45 if i'm not mistaken. i brushed my teeth and washed my face, change my pajamas and out we head to the cemetery. was very foggy and very cool. everybody prepare the things and we started praying. as usual we burned all the papers... on our journey backed from Gerik to KL, Lyn suddenly said: 'chain?' then we knew that she dropped the gold, bold, heavy chain in the cemetery. the chain is like the Ahlong chain but its gold. my father called back to Gerik home and asked them to went back to the cemetery to help find whether have or not. but unfortunately they didn't managed to found. Lyn was very upset the whole journey until now (midnight). the minute she knew her chain was not with her, she knew that it is definitely gone. the chain was so expensive that worth at least minimum 10 thousand ringgit. i just can said that maybe she lost this precious thing now but god will gave her another more valuable thing for her. i hope so... and hope that she will be alright the next few days... :)