yesterday just pull my tooth for braces. its not that painful actually but the numbness is really  crazy and the blood keep flowing. another two Weeks time I'm gonna pull off another two tooth. haihz......                                                                                                        

25th December 2012

Merry Christmas everyone! Merry Christmas mom!



They predict that on the 21 of this month the world is going to end. i don't really believe it because it is still early for the world to end. They said that there will be no sunlight for 3 days but the problem is yesterday was 24th and the whole day there's no sunlight including today on the Christmas day. Tmr will be no sunlight too? if is really yes, then the prediction is correct.     

chibai 的人。你为什么那么喜欢动人家的东西？我是最讨厌人家动我的东西了。还把我妈的衣服都丢掉。我只是要把她的东西都保存着好让我觉得有点安全感。我不能假装你还在。我只能把你的东西都保留。我不是一个容易适应的人。我不要所有的东西都变化。我宁愿活在灰尘里都不想也不要把这里的所有东西都改变。 爸，你可以顾虑或感受一下你女儿的感受吗？我知道你不在乎那些东西但他对一些人来说是很重要的你懂吗？我知道你永远都不会懂。你每一次做的决定都让我很不爽！你不配做一个爸爸！ 我也不屑有你这个爸爸。我讨厌你和她！！！

你走了   我还留着你的号码      打给你   我知道会转到信箱 想你   假装你还在 研究你的东西

I know its been 3 months since the last post. yesterday I dream of you. thank you for coming to visit me. every time  in the dream I feel like crying. my heart hurts in the dream and i can even feel it real. i don't want to wake up. because when i wake up i know i cant see you, hear you, touch you. this is the only way that i can hear you, see you, sense you, touch you. thank you for coming to my dream. i will appreciate it. i'm looking forward for the next visit. don't make me wait too long. i'll always wait for you.    I LOVE U MUM!

lanciau! 你又讲这个问题。 fuck you! 我只是说不能一次过洗那么多衣服吧了你就那么敏感。 什么是都gui我。 你什么事喔。 食物的东西我没有讲什么咯

i wish that i'm born in 80's. i truly love the songs very much. it just touches my heart and sometimes make me broke down.

my song >>

years went by
the wall in my heart so high
been living alone
like a grass
walk down the memory lane
sorry is all i can say
i need someone to love
to carry me when i'm weak
to lend me a shoulder to cry
to pull me from darkness
i don't know, don't know
i'm gonna hold on how long
i just wanna take a break

i feel dam down now... i don't know why. my whole body no strength. i need someone's shoulder to cry on or let me lean on. this is the first time i feel so no strength. help me!!!

i miss u !

i miss you so much.... i cry every time when i misses u. i can only hope that u will appear in my dreams. i  think about u sometimes. when i woke up from a dream of you i cried. i feel the pain in my heart. i can feel the emptiness of my heart. i feel sorry for everything. crying, regret, guilty, sorry shouldn't appear and doesn't work right now. life ain't good without you. i feel the loneliness. i can feel it like you feel it before this. i'm just immature during that time. i wish u will be fine all the time. because u had suffered for so long. may god bless u and stay with u all the time.  :)

hair cut

went for a haircut today at kl. a stylish which is also their teacher helped me cut half and a student helped me cut half. cut a classic bob. the teacher was very funny and kind. i suddenly just fell in love with him. i became their demo not modal. so i got RM50. muahaha...... 

quite emo after the haircut till now. don't know why.  

FUCK!!! Being force to go college tomorrow. because of a gathering. i'm not interested in it. plus, i'm lazy to go. it's a boring college. 




i don't know why when i heard that you have already change your target i will get so sad. i was thinking about it the whole day. i just couldn't know why? am i jealous? it's just a selfish thought that you don't like anyone except me.... i think through my feelings to you every time. i just don't want to be with you but i can't think about you like other girls. dammit!!! can someone tell me what am i doing? what actually my feeling towards him? the real answered me is my heart, myself... 

just change!

started college for 1 week already. i feel the change between me, michelle and mun kuan. we usually go to the account tuition and add maths tuition together but now i'm learning these on my own.... i feel lonely. i don't get joy. i said i'm not going touch account anymore but unfortunately i have to continue learning it... mun kuan go for multimedia design and michelle go for mass communication. i feel the distance between us... i don't know why. i feel sad too. i want to go back to the time when the three of us are together. i feel a bit regret taking this course. argh!!! why are these feeling coming towards me. i should enjoy my college life. but i don't. i feel dam boring. and there are no handsome guys for me to look at. what a shit college.  things should not change!!!  T_T   

你的离开

你的离开以经有三年了。

原来时间都过得这么快。

我习惯了没？

屋里好安静哦！

没有说出来的话我来不及讲，就是我下辈子还要做你的女儿。

不过这一次我会好好的孝顺你。

跟你开心享处在一起的日子不多。

我现在慢幔的才发现原来我和你是一样的。

我们都不把爱说出来。

其是我们都关心对方的。

一个人真的不好生活。

你的离开让我领悟到没有你我也不能过得快了些。

寂寞和孤单慢慢的闯进我的世界里。

college

i'm gonna start college on the 2th of May. most of my friends are going to segi college same as me. hie gie just text me and said she go to sime darby college... medical lab tech... i was shocked enough.. the course i'm enrolling now seems to be like a low class course for me... i'm envy for those people who are going for the medical course... my science were so good but i don't take science course... i don't know why.. nurse is a big opportunity course and job but i refuse to... now my plan is to study my foundation and continue with my degree... later on i will go some part time courses for baking and pastry... my dream is to own a bakery shop. i envy them(medical students)...

my second goal is to become a wealthy person. i can buy things that i want. i can buy cars that i want to drive. i can buy land and build my own dream house. i can spend a lot of money. i can donate some of my money to the poor people, orphanage, old folks home, adopt a children from unicef. go travel around the world with my father. let my father live a luxurious life.... and of course not to be greedy... i want to become a social worker and go to africa to do social work and help the poor ones...

i hurt him!

wo bu dong de zen me qu mian dui...

shuo yi xuan zhe tuo....

wo zhi dao wo xin li yi jing you le da an ke shi wo pa shuo le hui shang ni xin...

wo bu dong de zen me kai kou...

wo jin tian shou dao ni de msg...

ni rang wo zhi dao wo zen de rang ni shou hen da de shang...

ke nen wo zhao yi dian kai kou jiu bu hui na me shang le...

wo zhen de zhen de bu dong zen me kai kou.... dui bu qi!! SORRY!!!

一向来不喜欢说谎的我怎么越来越会说谎了？我不要这样的我。从现在起我要改变！！！

怎么寂寞好像慢慢变成我的朋友了？

Chichi你就要这样的不说一声就不见了吗？我好想念你你知道吗？我找了所有的地方都没有你。我该怎么办！！！！！！！！！！ T_T

Happy Chinese new year! Just came back from Terengganu yesterday. We when to beach. I ride a horse. It's pretty nice and nervous riding on the back of the horse but a good experience. They are very good they listen to instruction. I started becoming loving horses. Hahah...... Anyway I love animals. My wish for this year CNY is wish everybody healthy and safe.

My wish list for this year is to become a good and hardworking student. Turn into a women not a tomboy. Try to communicate with others. Think twice before making any decision.

天啊 现在的我是怎么了？心里总是觉得空空的。现在的心情已经不是boring 了。而是感觉到孤单和寂寞。不应该这样的。你说我该怎么办！

Today's 9th of 2012. The ninth day of 2012. 今年我要改变自己。我要把自己变的有女人味。明天要和朋友去打篮球。好久没去运动了。每次说要做运动但没有行动。所以明天要好好的挤发出我的汗和肥肉。和肥肉说再见！^_^❤

不是爱哭 是忍不住

看你离开 看到眼泪

世界能改变 爱也会转变

2012 year I'm going to start my college life. Hope that I can find more friends. Most important thing is I'm gonna change my lifestyle. That is to say I'm gonna wear more ladies clothes and skirts not gonna wear like tomboy anymore. And also wearing high hills. Yeah!!!! Rock that! Hahah...... Go go go. It's a new year I'm gonna be new too.. College come come come.

Study hard!!! XD

告白

我从来没想过你会喜欢我。这是我第一次被人告白。我不懂得怎么去拒绝你。可能是因为怕你受伤。但我发现理由没那么单纯。 我好像觉得有一点点点喜欢你。但我不要接受你因为你不是我喜欢的类型。最重要的是你没有真真的做出什么举动可以让我感动的可以让我喜欢你的。就像男人追求女人的一些举动和感动。所以对不起我不能接受你。但是我还是要说声谢谢你喜欢我。我真的很高兴能被人喜欢能被人告白。也希望我们当了朋友之后能像以前那样说话。

真的谢谢你喜欢我！！！

2012!!!

Today is the 3rd day of 2012 dragon year. Tmr school start. I really miss all of my friends and my classmates even though some of them I really don't talk to them. My SPM is also ended. Now I'm looking for part time job. I changed two jobs in this holiday. I maybe going to work back at McDonald's. I just want to get paid. And 3rd of march I'm going to Wang lee hom concert. I want to buy the most expensive ticket which is Rm498. If I work at McDonald for a month I can go already. Wish that my dream can come true.