yes! finally finished with my story book...

Title : Please Don't Make Me Go.
Author : John Fenton ( the real life of him )

in the end of the story it makes me want to cry because it really touched my heart. this story is about a true story of a boy name John Fenton (author of this book) tells his story of life from being tottered my his father.he is been force n tottered with her mother by his cruel father. his father doesn't like him n his mother because his father was force to married with her mother because she was pregnant n his father doesn't belief that he is his son. his father tottered they both everyday n one day his father was fighting with his mother he suddenly brave himself n took a vegetable knife beside him n scared his father n said i will kill you if u ever beat my mother again i'll deal with you. from that day on his life is turn into darkness n fearness.

Beaten from an early age by his abusive, father, John struggled to fit in at school where his poverty marked him out. When, aged 13, his father brought a charge against him in order to remove him from the family home, John found himself in Juvenile Court - from here he was sent to the notorious St. Vincent′s school, run by a group of Catholic Irish Brothers.
Beatings and abuse were a part of daily life - both from John′s fellow pupils, but also from the brothers, all of which was overseen by the sadistic headmaster, Brother De Montfort. Tormented physically and sexually by one boy in particular, and by the Brothers in general, John quickly learnt to survive but at the cost of the loss of his childhood.
PLEASE DON′T MAKE ME GO, tells in heart-rending detail the day-to-day lives of John and the other boys - the beatings, the weapons fashioned from toilet chains and stones, the loneliness - but we also see the development of John′s love of reading, his growing friendship with Father Delaney and his best friend, Bernard, and his unstinting love for his mother whom he feared was suffering at the hands of his violent father.
A painfully, brutally honest account, PLEASE DON′T MAKE ME GO is also an example of the resilience of the human spirit as it documents how John learnt to survive and come through his ordeal.

after i have read finished the story i'm very impress of him cause he makes me know that he is very brave n strong he dare to deal with all the abuse to survive. really very impress. he really brave. but the other sight is that he tell me that he is lonely.

请不要伤害那些外表开心的人

总有一些人，他们看上去整天都很开心，嘻嘻哈哈的，没有烦恼，像个小孩，他们会说玩是我最大的乐趣，我很喜欢玩，我什么都会玩人多的时候他们脸上总挂着笑容，好多人都会羡慕他们，然而这其实是他们最悲哀的地方，他们不想让别人看到自己难过的一面，更没有能力一个人独处，因为当夜深人静的时候，他不知道一个人会发生什么事，坐在窗前冥想走过的点滴，没有人读的懂他们，想着想着貌似快乐的他们就会黯然流下一脸的悲伤，然后自己对自己说：其实也没什么，命运吧！所以他们就整天逼自己笑，以此来逃避那些常人所不能不承受的痛苦！他们貌似很坚强，因为在别人看来，他们什么事都能微笑着去面对，但事实上他们长着世界上最脆弱的心灵，只是长期的伪装使得别人很难发现他们内心深处的创伤。 他们其实非常孤独，虽然看到他们时都是在跟一群人谈天说地，那是因为他们实在不能承受一个人时的折磨！他们只想简简单单、快快乐乐的活着，期待并且相信每个人给的笑容都是真心的，希望身边的人都是真正的喜欢自己。即使别人小小的意见，也会另他们难过好久，他们真的真的很介意，介意自己不被人喜欢。因为，他们总是为别人想的很多，对别人总是比对自己好；把能对喜欢的人好当做幸福，喜欢别人比喜欢自己多。他们总是那样，前一秒还伤心的流着泪，后一秒出现在朋友面前的时候，已经满脸溢着灿烂的笑容。有人说他们是向日葵，是的，他们在意的人就像是太阳，在面对太阳的时候永远是明艳的花瓣，而太阳照不到的背面，那悲伤藏得那么好，不愿被看见。他们向往放纵自由的生活，却必须为了谁很努力的朝另外的一个方向活着，很累很累，却仍是心甘情愿。离自己的梦境越来越来远，不得不面对从未想过的争夺和复杂，恐慌、不知所措。只有面对最信赖的人时，才会卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼泪。因为在他们心里，笑就是开心，哭就是难过，接近就是喜欢，远离就是讨厌。但其实不是，他们明白了，心好伤，眼泪就没忍住。哭过之后，笑笑得擦干眼泪，说，没关系，我可以做的很好的。他们好像无所不能，好像总是不会有烦恼，好像什么问题都能轻而易举的解决，总是喜欢喜欢出现在流泪的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗着笑。而面对自己的问题，他们却茫然无措，面对自己的悲伤，他们只会躲在人们看不见的角落里慢慢由伤口越裂越大。他们的想法非常简单，说出来的就是心里所想的，肚子里不会拐七道八道的小弯，无心的话可能会引起别人的误解。所以，请别记恨他们，他们从不愿伤害谁，小小的错误就能让他们懊悔很久。他们其实非常单纯，甚至你曾经给了他一个微笑他也会一辈子记得你的好，因此他们的世界观其实也很简单，他们很容易受蛊惑 ，请不要轻易的伤害他们的感情，因为一旦伤害了，那就将永远弥补不回来！ 如果你身边有这种人请你给予他（她）那怕是凤毛麟角的那点关怀，让他（她）知道这个世界没有抛弃他们。。。如果你的身边有这么一个人!请不要伤害他（她）们！因为她们并不坚强。坚强的背后，充满着泪痕。。。。

the first time !

today is 2010 Basketball MSSD the first day
we lose...to bandar puchong jaya(A)
everybody was so upset
especially pei ling.
her hand was injured last Thursday.
the score was 10 vs 13
just only lost 3 marks
just shoot for one ball 3 point then pass
but we didn't did it.
for the last quarter a few minutes before the game ends
we all make it to 10 marks
everybody was so happy n the boys are shouting
i though we can catch up with the points n win
but at last we didn't make it.
is a kind of disappointed.
but we cannot do anything we lose!
my job is to defend the no.9 opponent not to let her touch the ball
i keep trying n struggling to catch up with her foot steps but I'm not too fast enough.
but it didn't mean that i never get a chance to defend her i just lose for a few times i think is 3 to 4 times.
I'm already very sad about this.
this year MSSD is the first year i went down to play for so long normally i will just sit on the bench. i hate to sit on the bench u know. but I'm too scare n nervous when I'm playing in the match.
last after our game the under 15,the boys team n teachers when to USJ 4 school for their match.
n for our team we went to eat at maju-maju. actually pei ling is going with us
but after a bit of situation she just leave me n siew wei to maju-maju but still have some people there waiting for us.
we don't know where pei ling went but after we reached maju-maju chrisanne received a phone call by pei ling saying that she is crying ask her to go and persuade her. chrisanne go.i wish she will be ok....not to be too sad n keep blaming herself.
me n the others start eating. after i have done. it's 1.10. i said bye to them n faster rushed to school n wait for my school bus. i'm not following them to USJ 4.
my left leg was injured too. because one of the opponent bang my leg so now my leg muscle dam pain. n having trouble in walking.
at first i'm very sad because we lose because this game is not suppose to lose i wonder why we will lose. the only thing is everybody play like shit. no strengh at all shoot also like shit.
until hweei teeng also speechless. this is the first time i saw hweei teeng like that. n this is the first time Basketball MSSD first match already lose....the first ever...
tmr also no hope d la... we vs seksyen 4
pei ling said seksyen 4 very pro even though wan sean said they all very short just like me. n hweei teeng tmr is not coming to coach us.
but anyway we also must try our best...
but i finally understand a moral value is
'no matter what is the result, we must accept it with a open heart. Not to thing we actually can win or we actually not to lose these negative words. You must think another angle. Even though we lose but i already try my best. I have already struggle, put all my effort in n play this game as well as i can for my teammates,my coach,my school n myself. N i have work together n struggle together with my teammates. This is the most important thing. The others question that is not that important anymore. Cause these question may only let you feel more sad n hurt your brain nerves.'


^_^