im counting on days.. today is his first day of intern.. i already miss him and worry for him. worry that his too tired. but 6 months seems very long. but im thankful that he didn't went to singapore or genting.. hahaha... i still can meet him or see him during his off day. but i don't dare to disturb him cause i know he will be dam tired.. 

im counting and counting.. :(

the first time buying a cake for a guy

done a crazy and unbelievable thing today. his birthday is next Tuesday but he is going for internship next Monday. today suddenly have an idea cross my mind. what about today i give him a surprise?  so i went to RT Pastry in ss15 and bought a vanilla fruit cake. i called him up to make sure he is at home and i show him the cake at his doorstep. he was surprise because he really doesn't know anything. and he was unwilling to cut the cake i don't know why.  but i told him to give me a face blow the candle and cut the cake please. and after a small chat we walked out of his room and celebrate. eventually i didn't sing birthday song cause it don't feels right on that time.. i just lighted the candle and ask him to make a wish. you  know what?! he make a wish that he will make a lot of money. and i was like wtf?! i said you so rich d you still want to have more money... and he cut the cake.. we share a cake cause he don't really eat cake and i was still full. 

i can't believe that i will walk for so far away just to buy a cake... i was sweating like hell. i keep asking myself what happen to me? why i will sacrifice till like that? omg.. i must be outta my mind. 

eventually he catches a flu. after the cake he ate med and was falling asleep. hahaha.... at 5pm i leave because i wanted him to rest. i know eating flu med will make one sleepy. so i ask him to rest.    

and before i leave the bakery, i ask them do they still hire part time student. that person ask me to fill in a form and he would give me a call. so i was hoping i get the job cause i don't want to stay at home in the weekends. i don't mind the paying rate cause i really want to get out of this house especially from 007.  

i believe god, because he answer my prayers most of the time.. thank you god for answering my prayers.. today im here to pray again and to wish for your answer. today i would like to pray for this pretty angel lady that tmr her operation is going smooth and dont punish her too strictly because she is kind and she doesn't want this to happen too.. so please don't hit her too hard.. pls.. 

hey you half sibling baby, i dont know how to get this right. but i really apologize to you for your father just dump you..  

god pls blessed him to pass the exam with flying colors. he has work very hard from the beginning until today the final. i really really wish and pray that he will pass. i don't want to see him fail. i don't want to see him sad. i know god only help those who help themselves. ya.. he's the right one.. so god im here to please you. pls help him pass the final exam... i'll appreciate and do whatever to pay back the kindness. pls!!!!!    

falling in love

我想告诉你 我已经爱上你了。恭喜你， 你终于把我的心占据了。

和你在一起我很有安全感。

你一直出现在我的脑海里。

我无时无刻都会想到你，

特别是夜里。

没有你的讯息我很难过，失望。

我想要每天都看到你。

想要每天窝在你的怀里。

想为了你改变自己。

听到你不用去新加坡了我很开心。

但现在我不开心的是〉〉〉

1. 你不再这么甜蜜的和我讯息了。
2. 我们好像没话题聊了。
3. 就算有讯息也只是一般。
4. 听到你想放弃了。

喂！你怎么可以这样！让我爱上你了你却想要放弃了！我真的很难过。我真的被你打败了！我不知道要怎么办了。

每一次看到你有上线我都好期待好开心但有点烦恼，期待你会主动和我聊天。 开心你上线了。烦恼要找什么话题聊。可是最近都很失望，你不但没自动来找我聊天而且还完全是不联络的。我终于了解那时候我给你的忽冷忽热感觉了。真的很伤。对不起！所以有时候我不想上线因为我不想看到这样的情况发生。我当作你没上线好了。不想要和你擦肩而过。

想你了。:(  :(  :(  :(

i had a counted as serious talk by a Counselor which is the lover boy. after i have digest part of the advice, i only realize that actually im not matured at all. i thought i always think from 007 prospective BUT i realize it is not the way...

yes,
1. im gonna approach him like he said.
2. im gonna fake a courage.
3. im gonna make 007 believe me.
4. im gonna give him an image.

i feel that i never learn never understand the meaning of life.. i always thought that im already matured. BUT at the end im wrong. 我可以聪明点吗？！不要总是学不会好吗？！林珮珊！！！醒了咯。

is not easy to be a human being

i still don't know what to do.. how to comfort a broke up person. 

i feel pity for her. i don't know what to do to help her. but one thing im happy about is she still can pregnant. im here to wish her luck and to  ask for god's help to give he strength to overcome all these. please god give her strength.. she got nobody to turn to now.. and i don't know how to help her. i will appreciate if you answer my prayer. 

she shouldn't meet my father.. she should meet a better person.. my father is sucks honestly. he told me not to lie but he is the biggest liar ever on earth. never a person meet 007 is a good thing. as a child of his i don't feel love from him and he is too selfish. he don't let me out. he don't believe me. yeah i do lie. but have you ever thought why i'm lying? i lie because if i tell the truth you're gonna be mad at me. feeling so stress living in this roof. every time i go to bf house i don't feel like leaving. because i don't feel the stress and pressure. i envy my bf. he has a loving mother and sis. but i got no one. even though i have lyn and xian in my life but its something different. he's really a bad ass dad. yeah maybe im still young to think like this. maybe when i grew up i will understand. but now i don't get it okay! what effects a person the most is family or loves one. if you have a happy and warm family please appreciate that and congrats cause not everyone is so lucky. you can be the nicest person in the world if you have a loving family. but if you have a worst family you're gonna get crazy one day trust me.

for me family doesn't mean much in my life cause they ruin my life. yeah i might be a bad girl a bad daughter that don't appreciate what i got. i can say that i hate my family for this moment...