i have officially ended my on-the-job training. never thought i was reluctant to leave the hotel. even though many people said this hotel isn't good. but i still want to work as a permanent. previously was laughing those who convert into permanent staff and now i have the urge. its not because of him. its of my future. if i work here when i go other hotel they will sure hired me.   

anyway i will work hard for my dreams. i wont give up. 

say something im giving up on you

finally i found my courage to add you in facebook and wanted to confess my feelings to you after you've accepted my friend request. but i waited for days the outcome was very disappointing and im curious why haven you accept my request. i've been unconditionally waiting for you and i've sleepless night. cant you just accept my request? is that so hard? i found myself drowning into a black place where all my sadness, doubtfulness, disappointment have slowly eaten me up. i dont feel happy anymore. my heart is sooo tired. replaying those songs to let  me endure the sadness.

while im walking to work today, i told myself just give up on him. he doesn't know i'm upset because of him. he doesn't know i'm heartache. he doesn't know i cant sleep at night because i'm thinking so hard of  him. he doesn't know i've been waiting day and night of him to accept my friend request. he doesn't know everything is because of him. when i cant sleep or im not happy i lost my health and it doesn't affect him and he doesn't know. in the end i'm the one who bear all the consequences without him acknowledge. so what for i wait for him. so what for i make myself so unhappy and so tired everyday. just give up!!! im so tired of not being happy! i feel my world is so dark now. i gotta get out  of it. i can do it. yes!!!