真正的放下，是你不介意再被提起。

看来我还是没有完完全全的放下你。。。需要多点时间吧。

20/12

i know my future is a very long long way... i now can feel the future is not that easy in this industry... so i must learn and pick up as many information as possible before going for training. i will go for it... deli challenge accepted. :) add oil ANDREA!!! :)

why this Christmas eve i feel so lonely....  

失恋的日记

17/09 

im sad... i dont know what to do. i know the only thing i can do now is wait. i know he is struggling and feeling bad too. and i know you feel stress. i understand you. but im sad. im just sad. 

19/09

今天是第二天了，我的心还是没有恢复。心还是麻麻的。请你不要讯息我好吗。因为这样会让我想更多。还有不要再问我过得好吗。因为我不想说谎。我其实一点都不好。我还在练习放手。

21/09

伤口慢慢的好了。我对他的感觉不再是那么浓烈了。但我很舍不得。chee kien weng 我很想打你啊！鸡蛋糕你啊! 

22/09 

it seems like your having a good time . im like a stupid waiting for your msg for your msg and sad about this relationship. i dont know i can wait until how long. im really still waiting.. did you know? did you know im sad? did you know it's pain of letting go? did you know im lose without you? 

23/09 

im so stupid. im still waiting for you. i found myself so funny. 

24/09

im still crying... when im gonna sober? now i understand why love makes one stupid. 

25/09

i still can forget you.... my heart is crying... can you give me a hug? give me strength, tell me you'll be there :( 

26/09

since that msg it's exactly two weeks that we dont msg, see each other, chit chat, nothing at all... i need a hug now and tell me that you'll be there...... chee kien weng..... tell me what to do.. 

27/09 

tonight im having dinner alone. if i can i would wish to call you and eat together... but i know it's impossible. 

28/09

我好像又想通了。。。我们可以变成朋友可是我很不甘心的是我的初吻给了你你却这样对我。

我是不是你现在深爱的人？你为什么那么安静。。。

你知不知道我等你等得好苦啊！

29/09

你过得怎么样了？有很想我吗？

i need you now... i need a shoulder, a hug and tell me you'll always there for me. 

30/09

now only i realize im the killer of this relationship, im the problem. i will slowly find you back. im gathering my courage. 

1/10

i have no courage to msg you!!!!! what to do?!! really fuch wehy. 

2/10

心难过得要死。。。你真的很敷衍。。。我真的快要死了。。。

3/10

又是一个很想你，很想哭的夜。日子很难过啊。你可以回到我身边吗？

last night  before sleep i didnt think of you. i feel relax and happy. but how i know when i reached home in the morning i have a big cry. did you miss me? did you cry?

i thought i will slowly recover. but the wound is getting deeper and deeper. deep until i cant even control it. deep until it disturb my daily life. i still look forward for you to msg. a fortnight seems like one month. 

4/10

tonight dinner alone again. wish you could accompanied.

miss you more and more... 

5/10 

im still figuring where did our relationship went wrong. im stupid right. 

6/10 

yesterday didnt think you that much anymore but the memories keep flowing out like a flowing water. slowly dont think of you d. is it a good thing?

7/10

the wound feels like getting better. i start to feel happy again. heart not that tiring anymore. 

lessons learned. never ever simply fall in love with someone. because in the end you are gonna hurt yourself. 

9/10

yesterday didnt write dairy. tonight having dinner alone again. miss you again. especially when im surround with people it feels so lonely. 

11/10 

if i have one minute before i die, i'll call you and say "i love you". 

14/10

didnt msg you anymore. i have slowly letting go. is it a good thing?

heart- is like a glass. easy to break. once it's broken it takes time to find the broken pieces and fix it together. i'm still fixing my heart. building the wall again. im sorry heart, to hurt you and to let you break. i'll never easily hand you to anyone else again. 

17/10 

start thinking of you again. walao! i know it's impossible for me to forget you but i just want to let you go that easy. why i can't. i feel i'm super duper stupid, still can't let you go, keep tormenting myself. andrea, dont sleep anymore wake up!!!! 

18/10 

can you come back to me? you stole my heart and you break it... and now i'm begging you to return... what the fuck... i really miss you. i really wish you could just come back and said you're sorry to leave me alone. you're still stuck in my brain.. i really wan to let you go.. im trying.. but the memories wont le me go. it hunts me everyday. especially im lonely... its been a month since our break up.. if i can't have you back, i just want to let go. 

19/10

you have fallen sick! im worried. i really want to go to your house like i used to. 

22/10
today is my birthday. i was seeing whether you will wish me in fb or not. but until now i didn't see any. was quite upset. but the most shocking part is when you took a picture of a souvenir that you received from a girl that i know(sukyan). i was truly shocked and i kept asking myself when did you both got so close without me noticing. she even buy souvenir for you. wtf!! i was shocked, blurred, stunt, upset. i admit i'am jealous. i can't accept if you both couple. pls don't let tit happen and i will hate you chee kien weng if it really happen. 
you seems to have a normal life without me. i'm still struggling. oh my gawd. when am i going to fucking wake up?! 

24/10 
i'm on my way. i'll let you go in order to free myself. bye love. bye memories. blek :p

27/10 
i'm really gonna fucking hate you! i noticed both of you are getting closer. nvm... i'm gonna fucking let you go..... i don't deserve this and it's not worth it. you are a creature not a human being. ass hole! 

7/11
心痛到极点！

心很痛！我不知道怎么样好。我很后悔爱上你。我流多少眼泪都没用。我吃醋也没用。我在你心里已经没有任何的余地。当初我很努力的爱你现在我要很努力的放下你！每一次看到你和她我的心痛到极点。心情烂到不能再烂。我不应该有任何希望。我更不应该期待。可不可以有个药能治疗失恋，心痛。我很需要！！！

22/12
听说你们在一起但是我的心怎么还是有点不舒服。我是怎么了？不是已经放下了吗？林珮珊，放了自己吧拜托！

24/12
你在学校门口经过，看到隔壁有人，应该是她吧。我的心怎么会莫名的难过。是难过吗？难道我还放不下你？！我累了。。。。 
如果正面看到你我的心会怎样？我知道我会用不屑的眼神看你。

you drove passed, i saw some one was sitting at the passenger side. without a doubt i jumped into a conclusion it was her. i just cant think of anyone else sitting beside you. my heart suddenly just hurt a little. my mood just went down. i shouldn't be sad. i thought i have already let go of you but today i realised i haven't. i kept asking myself almost everyday what if he appears infront of me one day? what should i do? how i would react? but im sure i wont smile at him. i will give him a gesture or just make him transparent. but what about my heart and my mood? will it be just like today? i dont want to.. i dont want because of him i spoil my day, my mood and everything. i dont want him to influence me... 

我终于放下他了。不再期待。不再等待。整个人都变得好轻，已经找回我的快乐单人生活。我也不再想知道他过得怎么了。谢谢让我一次痛的够， 让我领悟到真的要放手了。十一月忘了他计划成功了！再见了我的初恋。
这段感情让我明白男人再怎么好都不能够相信的。也让我觉得爱一个人很难。所以现在我会好好的爱自己不让任何人那么轻易打败我。加油！！！ :)